Jill has three wonderful sons, and her husband recently had a vasectomy, so the easy answer is "never". I think she probably appreciated my proposed response: "Two weeks ago, my husband had his balls cut off. They're in my purse, do you want to see them?" But the topic sparked a conversation among my friends about gender and why people even feel the need to comment on the make-up of your family.
I was at REI a few months ago, watching The Ambassador in the children's play area and chatting with another mom who was visibly pregnant and wrangling her own three boys. We'd covered some basic mom ground, so I felt comfortable asking about her pregnancy.
ME: Do you know what you're having?
HER: (APPREHENSIVELY, BUT BRIGHTLY) A boy!
ME: Congratulations! Boys are magical, aren't they?
HER: (GRINNING BROADLY) They are! No one ever says things like that when I say I'm having number four!
She'd obviously gotten the disappointed comments and reactions that I've heard so much about from my friends with multiples of the same gender. We parted shortly after that, and she was still smiling when The Ambassador and I walked away, and as I left, I wondered, "Why does anyone else care what we're having?"
Picture my surprise when the comments started floating in with the news that we're having a girl. "Oh, how wonderful! Now you can finally dress a little girl in pink!" and "It's so nice to have one of each!" It was as if I'd been morosely pining aloud over my inability to swath a room and child in Pepto-Bismol for the past two years or, as my friend Gretchen says, I'd been trying to complete my Pokemon collection and all I needed was the magical XX card.
Before I became a mom, I never gave much thought to the gender of my kids. With my first pregnancy, I joked that I wanted a boy, because "that whole wipe front-to-back thing is a little intimidating" (which I still believe, by the way, especially now that I've experienced newborn turbo-poops). With this pregnancy, I told everyone that the practical side of me wanted a second boy, so I could recycle all those cool clothes we bought The Ambassador. But once I got the "all clear" on fingers, toes and major organs, the news that I was having a girl or boy was simply icing. The nursery would have been the same no matter what, because according to Hubby, "You WILL use that ridiculously expensive crib bedding again JUST LIKE YOU PROMISED!" (Whatever, dude.)
So, tell me. If you're one of those
Just curious.
*Not her real name, but it's close!





