The Ambassador is a notoriously picky eater. More so than the average two-year-old from what I gather by comparing notes with my mom friends. I'm sure it's a stage. Well, I hope it's a stage, and he hasn't inherited my father's abysmal taste in food (everything dry, please, and burn if it you have the time, thanks). I suppose we'll find out in about 20 years or so.
But really, it's bad. The Ambassador won't even touch the usual kid foods. No chicken fingers, no hot dogs, no pizza, no spaghetti, and let's not discuss condiments of any kind. We've resorted to things like boxed mac & cheese, Hamburger Helper -- which I'd never even tasted before a couple months ago -- and our current fallback, Taco Bell's Beef Combo Burritos.*
Truth be told, Hubby does end up taking the kid out to lunch more than I do, but that's because I'm too lazy to leave the house most days, not because Hubby is any less concerned about The Ambassador's nutritional well-being. Anyway, knowing how often they dine out together, it didn't surprise me the other day when we swung by the Taco Bell in midtown Minneapolis (aka, the Taco Bell voted most likely to be held up at gunpoint), and Hubby said, "Hey! That's the pimp and the hooker I told you about last time we were here!" Uhhh... refresh me on that one, honey?
Apparently, at their last visit, the conversation at the table next to my boys went something like this:
PIMP: (COUNTING CASH IN HIS HAND) Is that all you *expletive* brought?
HO: Yeah.
PIMP: I KNOW you made more *expletive* money than that *expletive*.
(CONVERSATION ENSUES. READ AS: EXPLETIVE, EXPLETIVE, EXPLETIVE.)
HUBBY: Hey, would you mind watching your language? I've got the little guy here.
PIMP: Oh, yeah, sorry. I'll watch my language for the little fucker.
HUBBY: Uh, thanks.
After two brushes with the pimp and the ho, Hubby has declined membership in the Midtown Taco Bell Frequent Buyer program and will likely be traveling a bit further to the more upscale franchise in Edina in the future. I'm pretty relieved, because I wouldn't want anything to happen to them, and I'm not sure Hubby's life insurance will pay out if State Farm can prove a pattern of fraternizing with known criminals.**
*Go ahead, roll your eyes. He's my kid. Go get your own.
**I don't intend to work while I mourn.
Monday, June 9, 2008
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24 comments:
They have pimps and hos in St. Paul? Hehheheh.
I keep thinking of hookers in minis and snow boots and lime colored fur ear muffs for the pimps.
Promise me you will take me to that Taco Bell next time I am in Minne-ho-ta! PLEASE!
Oh, the Ambassador and I will share a fabulous meal!
hahahaha..Deb I am crying I am laughing so hard. I can't believe how funny that is. I am going right now to tell Chris about this and then fuss at his buzz kill. I will let you know if he finds humor in it. If he does, you are a miracle worker.
Well, my child of the same age isn't quite as picky of an eater (he did eat octopus and scallops at Joe's Crab Shack the other night) but your kid speaks circles around my son. I always read how The Ambassador said watermelon or helicopter or three word sentences and I look at Garrett and think, "Your handful of single syllable words are not so impressive, buddy."
oh my! That's too funny. Or too scary... Take your pick.
My three year old daughter is almost as picky... It sucks.
OMG..... LMAO!!!
That is crazy!
Mine are getting Taco Bell for dinner tonight. Last week they fucked up my order so I complained and now I'm in 'The Book'. That awesome book of free goodies. Yah.
And if I wasn't you telling the story I wouldn't have believed it. But since you did, I do.
Hey there. Just found your blog and this first post made me laugh out loud. I'm off to read some more!
wow, I thought DC was tough :)
I'm staying here and taking my chances :)
That is hilarious. My favorite is the * and the ** comments at the end.
The Ambassador is going to be a pretty street smart toddler.
Oh my!! Good stuff...
Just so you know, I'm dealing with pickiness with my 3-year-old too. He won't eat hot dogs, peanut butter (he likes "just jelly" sandwiches though), burritos, and he doesn't like condiments either. He does like plain cheese pizza though, and spaghetti (without the sauce). My older one is picky in different ways, so it's just a great ole time whenever we eat!! As a result, we eat out more than we should too (anywhere with mac & cheese or pancakes works for Henry). Good luck!! I know how frustrating it is!!!
LOL that's hilarious! We drove by that Taco Bell over the weekend and I actually said aloud to Bill, "I wonder if that's the Taco Bell that Deb goes to" because there aren't many in mpls and that one is so sketchy. (I've never been but it just gives off sketchy vibes). Glad to hear your boys will be switching to the one in the burbs.
I just realized my kids are sheltered. My daughter refused to bring her cell phone to her ball tournament in the Lake Phalen area last week because of the "shady" people that hang out in the area. I think we're a little too close to the outer suburbs. She doesn't know how bad it can be. Maybe I should take her to Taco Bell to ease her mind about the east side.
Yeah, territerri, it IS good to get out of the neighborhood once in a while. My husband laughs at me when I lock my car doors when I drive thru downtown Portland. Portland OREGON. Nothing happens there! But, take me out of my westside suburb where the parks are manicured and the high school kids drive better cars than I do, and I get scared silly. Note to self: Get out of the burbs more often.
At least The Ambassador will be street savvy, in an enchirito pimpy sorta way, yes?
Glad nobody got shot. That is too funny.
I laughed out loud and I never do that!!!! That Ambassador and Hubby are a funny duo, I love that he made the effort to appeal to the pimp's moral side...
Hey there, I just randomly stumbled across your blog and saw your Twitter message that you want to know if your blog has been banned in China. I don't know if you're really interested in that, but as a matter of fact, I'm currently in China and I can view your blog without problems. :) Nice Taco Bell story!
Ines, currently a language student in Beijing
Snort, what a lovely young man that pimp was. And I nabbed your referencing system from Holl. Hope that's ok. :D
Ha! I think every kid should have exposure to such "diversity".
I read the numbers post first...unlike "mineteen" I bet The Ambassador didn't have any problems immediately committing his new vocabulary words to memory... can't wait to hear when he drops THOSE little bombs...
For the little fucker, too cute. Hahaha.
Brilliant!
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